omg youll never learn
stop defending youself, stop counter reacting everything i say and say stuff like well its just not good for you, you just dont listen, you this, you that. no fuck you. i fucking tell you i want you to help me &you say how many voicemails did i leave you? you left me 3 allllll day and all they said were yah well uh i love you and im gonna try.. yah im still waiting for you to try. i tell you i dont feel special w.you, &you say that you compliment me but i dont listen. maybe its bc whenever you used to compliment me you wanted something out of it. you say you dont know at all what i did yesterday and shit. i fucking stayed home, locked myswelf in my room for more then half the day and cried and waited for your ass to start trying for me, or something, anything. i stared at my phone 90% of the day, cried 50% of the day, thought about you 100% of the day, and also wanted to kill you 100% of the day. I STAYED HOME CRYING OVER YOU WAITING FOR YOU, and you have the nerve to text me every half hour, hour and be like kayla? please talk. etc. no fuck you, im not gonna bother w.you if you cant even try for me. you think talking to me is trying for me? are you fucking stupid? grow some balls and fucking try for something in your life and admit your a complete asshole. your saying i just dont see you in any good light anymore. thats bullshit, we all know i love oyu, and i always give you the benefit of the doubt. but honestly jay, what the fuck have you done for me? nothing. thats why its not good enough, bc you havent done anything. instead you say why should i try, your not listening whatever. thats why i say you dont fucking love me. YOU FUCK ME OVER, YOU CURSE ME OUT, YOU FUCKED US UP… AND YOU GET TO GO OUT WHILE I STAY HOME CRYING, AND YOU BITCH AND COMPLAIN WHEN I TELL YOU TO JUST FUCKING TRY FOR ME. &YOUR EXCUSE IS I AM TRYING KAYLA, I LEFT YOU 3 WHOLE VOICEMAILS SAYING NOTHING, AND TEXT YOU SOMETIMES. FUCK NO thats not going to work for me. you want me get, me its quite simple actually. its hard for you bc your hearts not in it. your forcing yourself. i stayed at home counting how many times i wouldve called you, tried to skype you, the long meaningful texts i wouldve sent.. it was more than 10x anything you did, i lost count after about 9. you really think you can hurt me. then go out do what you want. text me on your time. and expect me to talk to you. no jason. like where the hell are you from? its really useless w.you. alright weve established that we love differently, well if this is all you can do for me, honestly then its not your love i want, your right its not good enough for me, for me thats not real love. personally i never saw what was so hard in trying for someone, but your selfish and i cant change that so your on your own entirely from here on out murph.
justbreatthe-deactivated2012022 asked: Kayla, I miss you and you can always talk to me!
omg, i miss you<33 thanks so much shpres<33
congratulations, you know how to make yourself feel better and calm yourself down so you can be better and happier. so while you have fun doing what you like to do while be around people you “enjoy hanging out w.” ill just sit here and lock myself in my room crying hysterical, with no one to help me, no where to go, nothing to do, no one to vent to, nothing. you say you have nothing yet your out right now, people talk to you, people think to invite you places and you take it all for granted man. you have no idea what its like to be in my position. but whatever im glad your out doing what you want when ive been waiting all day so far for a call, a hey im thinking about you im sorry i miss you, anything the least but meaningful to help me and make me feel better. but no of course not, i get a friken i dont even know what. you really think i care about your day right now.. while im crying over US. like what dont you get? you live in a friken fantasy bubble, everything goes your way you get whatever you want you dont go through shit its unbelievable. i mean yah you go through shit, but you always have someone there for you, people to go to to make you feel better, you never face consequences, things happen to you and you fuck up or whatever and its done. you have no idea what its like to actually be alone, or anything. i just i wish you could understand, well no i dont bc well i just i cant even explain the hatred omg. you shit on me allllllllll day, say im fat and big and the only compliment i get from you is yout boobs are big. then you go off saying you talked to one person all day and its about hw hannah mantana is banging and theres a picture where she has a nice rack, and got all pissy and like argues w.me over her not having boobs. like okay, i loved you bc you were different. clearly your a dude so you do those things, but you made me feel special. its was like yeah sure you look at other girls, shit happens whatever, but i was the one you want, i was the one w.just everything. and now i get your fat, well when i compliment you you dont listen so ohwell… why do you think i dont fucking listen to your compliments? you say what i wanna hear now, you used to be such a nice kid just damn your an asshole now you couldnt be more NOT for us. your legit worried about anything but us. your still not even fucking tryihng for us like what the fuck. &yes i did call you a little bitch. you do fucking cry over everything, and dont bother saying remember i never cried before you. okay so your dad kickng you out, or you doing bad in ball and you crying is bc of me? i made you cry those times? lmao OK. and remember you used to thank me for showing you how to express your emotions instead of keeping them bottles up? your so lost w.everything you say and think bc none of it is true. you legit live on big fat lie &i give you props you did it well for about a year &3/4. but im not gonna be a victim of your shit anymore, im too smart for your shit now, i know you too well now which is ironic bc i dont know anything about you. i dont know the person that i love, and i know i didnt go wrong.. so who did? who do you wanna blame for this jason? the only two fucking people that matter in a relationship is those 2fucking people. no one else. no one else can do anything about it, so okay i fucked up ONCE and i made up for it and im still there for you about that shit. ill own up to that mistake idc, i fucked up and ive faced my consequences fr it and i never hid from them never did anything youve done. i was up your ass everyday making sure you knew i loved you, making sure i was there for you and comforting you and just everything like its really amazing how ive done so much shit for yu and all youve done in return is yell at me. but you fucked up too jay, and youve done nothing to help me. what you stayed in a couple nights? ive stayed in 2+fucking years of my life maybe minus a week or two in total. what you cried a couple nights? i cry every night, and even some days. what you thought of me while you were fucking me over? i think about you 24/7 and you influence every thing that i do, hence why i havent fucked you over and when i did i still came to tell your ass &i told you how it was then, not months later. what youve apologized and said sorry, and repeated everything i said to you w.out any sincerity? i would sit up all night for months writing you od long apologizes bc i wanted to, bc i truly felt bad, notbc you asked for one like ive had to. i go on your tumblr page to see what youve wrote everytime i feel like i wouldve wrote something to you. i put myself into your shoes and im like okay in his position right now id call, id make a video, id annoy the fuck out of her for the next little bit until she talks to me bc im dying to talk to her, im gonna express my feelings and tell her exactly what im thinking instead of just saying im thinking about you. for all i know your fucking lonely and thinking about us fucking. you really seirously dont get it. you wonder why i dont respect you, why im not helping you out, why im acting like a bitch. bc you dont even respect yourself, bc if you did you wouldnt have done the shit that you have to me since you supposedly love me. bc you dont even help me so why the fuck would i go out of my way to help you? bc you hurt me, and youve made me this way and im the one inside crying, meanhwile your out making yourself better. well fuck you. go ahead keep flipfloping on me, blame me for everything, do whatever the fuck you want bc ive hit bottom.. you cant make me feel more like shit. sincerely, kayla. the person you love. the person youve fucked over so bad, that this is how she feels about the person she loves/loved, i odnt even know.
confinesofourmind asked: what can i do for you back? besides not giving up, giving you my all. making you feel amazing and special. doingnothing that hurts you. and putting you before myself?
Anonymous asked: I like your blog. You truly are a great person:)
lmao who is this?